


changes are born in your heart

by fiveandnocents



Series: nervous breakthrough [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe, The Flash - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02 AU, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:19:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12096579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveandnocents/pseuds/fiveandnocents
Summary: Someone pulls the blindfold off his eyes and Wally feels completely justified in grinning once he sees Dick, nothing but  bright blue eyes and messy hair. “Hey,” he says, feeling giddy in a way he hadn't expected, but that might just be the whole ‘thought I'd never see my friends and family again’ thing.Dick doesn't grin back and that's almost the weirdest thing that's happened to him today, considering the world had almost ended.Then, Dick backs up and stands next toWally West, so he was definitely wrong, because nothing can top this.





	changes are born in your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished this! It might sound silly, but I only had the vaguest thought that I wanted this to exist after writing what is now the sequel to this fic and literally nothing written. Then I had lovely comments on that fic saying that they liked my idea to write a prequel and it motivated me to make it! So here's my awkward shout out to abundleofissues and oracle_fox for expressing interest in this because that essentially caused it's creation.
> 
> Title from Parallel Universe by Red Hot Chili Peppers for obvious reasons

So. The speed force is kind of a let down to be honest. 

Wally expected more of a suddenly-understands-the-meaning-of-the-universe kind of life changing moment, but instead he’s just kind of running through a rainbow tube that has a vaguely peachy green twinge, reminiscent of cat puke. 

All in all, he feels a little gross, but also underwhelmed and after the ultimate adrenaline high of thinking he was going to die, he’s just bored. He might be bored for the rest of his life if he’s stuck here and he actually has no practical experience on getting out.

Theoretically, Wally can get out of it. 

Barry only told him about what to do if this ever happened in really vague terms, because the odds that Wally would actually enter the speedforce on his own were laughably low. He can apply theory to a practice, it’s what he’s good at, so he knows that his only hope in getting home rests in his ability to project his desperation to get back to the people he cares about into this weird void of existence and non-existence. 

He thinks of home as hard as he can. His textbooks on the coffee table, his mug unwashed in the sink, the sheets on the bed that he hadn't made that morning - he laughs, because Artemis doesn't care, but he's gotten so much shit about being a slob from Dick that -

The rainbow of color around him starts to sharpen and he can practically feel the California sunshine on his face. Wally grins, and pushes a little further until he can see his porch. He slows down just enough that the handle won't break when he opens it and -

He can’t move. Wally feels a little nauseous from vertigo, but at least whoever whirlwinded him into a chair had blindfolded him so that he doesn't have to see the world spinning before his eyes. 

So. Someone fast had been waiting for him. Someone really fast. He can't say he had seen that one coming. 

“Who are you?”

His captor sounds vaguely familiar - Professor Zoom maybe? - but he sounds more curious than like he's a homicidal maniac on a mission to hurt him and Barry. He's acting like _Wally’s_ the intruder, like he’s the one to be afraid of. 

“Oh, come on. You ambushed me in my own apartment. You know who I am,” Wally snarks. 

“Okay, you're right,” his captor says - seriously, he knows that voice - “What are you?”

“What? I’m me, what do you-”

“Clone?” the man interrupts harshly, the edges of impatience leaking into his voice. “Android? Because you're not the real Wally West, I can tell you that much.”

And that's just uncalled for really. “You know what, man? Screw you, I just saved the entire world today. Who do you think you are? Telling me I’m not me. What the fuck have you done today other than tie up the savior of the world here?”

The silence that follows Wally’s outburst would be less disconcerting if he could see the reaction of his captor to be honest. Then there's whispering that starts up, quiet enough that he can't hear everything, but little snippets come through like, “No missions today… not even pretending to be… _slow_ as hell…” which is when Wally decides to tune him out, because he has better things to do than listen to his own failures. 

“Why haven't you phased out of the ropes yet?” a new voice asks, higher pitched and smooth, and that's vaguely familiar too. Also, okay, so the guy wasn't just talking to himself like a crazy person. Good to know. 

“I, uh -”

“He can't,” the first voice says, because he apparently has no qualms about sharing Wally’s failures. “He's not fast enough.”

“Well, that's embarrassing,” the second voice says, and then giggles and - 

“ _Dick_?” It doesn’t make any sense. Dick knows he still can't phase through objects, there’s no reason why he would be associating with someone who needed to trap Wally, and he’d know the answer to any questions Wally could answer anyway. But - that _laugh_.

Someone pulls the blindfold off his eyes and Wally feels completely justified in grinning once he sees Dick, nothing but bright blue eyes and messy hair. “Hey,” he says, feeling giddy in a way he hadn't expected, but that might just be the whole ‘thought I'd never see my friends and family again’ thing.

Dick doesn't grin back and that's almost the weirdest thing that's happened to him today, considering the world had almost ended. 

Then Dick backs up and stands next to _Wally West_ , so he was definitely wrong, because nothing can top this on the weirdness scale. 

Huh, so that's what his own voice sounds like. 

\---

Wally thinks he should stop trying to rank all of the weird going on today, because things just seem to keep stacking on top of each other. 

Dick, giggling and pressing and chaste kiss on Wally’s - _Other_ Wally’s - lips, is just one of them. He's surprised that he's still surprised at this point. 

“So,” Dick says, and Wally should look at him, for politeness sake, but his eyes end up following the drag of Dick’s fingers across other Wally’s shoulders as he sits down. “Busy day, huh, Walls? Saved the world and jumped dimensions.” Dick grins at him from the other side of the table and it's almost normal, but something about this Dick Grayson is a little off, not as weighted down as the one he knows. 

They untied him once he started panicking and after a few rushed explanations, he's in borrowed clothes and they're all seated around the coffee table with a strong drink each. 

They have a coffee table. A real coffee table. Not one that they move back and forth between the kitchen and living room depending on who's visiting. And the _they_ in this universe is Wally and Dick, not Wally and Artemis. Not Dick and...most people. 

“How uh, how long have you been together?” he manages, which isn't really an answer to Dick’s question, but he kind of has to know to keep the weak grasp he has on his sanity. 

Dick laughs again. “As long as you and your Dick Grayson have been probably. Five years sound right?” And he honest to God bats his eyelashes while the other Wally rolls his eyes at him. Wally doesn't know what shows on his face, but it makes Dick’s smile drop and he grabs for Other Wally’s hand before he asks, “Right?”

“I’m uh, I've been dating Artemis. For five years.” He feels ashamed for some reason, like he should hide it or like he's in the wrong for being with her. 

“Artemis?” Other Wally’s jaw drops and Wally's hackles rise immediately. 

“Hey, she's incredible, alright? I don't deserve a girl as great as her.”

The other Wally and Dick share a look and Wally thinks he should probably keep his mouth shut before he starts a fight. 

“Sorry, it's just...your face when you saw - nevermind.” Other Wally is looking at him like he’s a lost cause now, too dumb to understand even if he explains it, which he hadn't even done when he’d been explaining parallel universe theory. 

He's done. His alternate self is an asshole (an _arrogant_ asshole) and the sooner he gets home, the better. “I’m in love with Artemis," he says, setting his drink down with enough force that it clangs against the coffee table. "I don't care if you don't understand it and I don't care if you don't like it. I just need to know how to get home.” 

“Hey.” Dick reaches across the table to grip Wally’s hand. He smiles and Wally feels his anger ebbing away without his permission. “We’ll get you back to her.”

It's a clear olive branch and he should sit back and appreciate it for the peace offering it is, but as they set Wally up in the guest room and part ways for the night, he doesn't understand why the words sit so uneasily in his stomach. 

\---

Wally wakes up the next morning and for a few heavenly seconds he thinks he's home. But the sun hits his face wrong and he remembers that he's not in his bedroom, he's in the spare room that him and Artemis use as an extra study room whenever they need some space. In this universe, it's apparently used as a spare bedroom for guests. 

He sits up slowly and rubs his palms down his face. 

He doesn't know how to get home. He thought he knew how to get out of the speed force, but look where that got him. As for getting in to the speed force in the first place… he can't do it without the combined kinetic energy he got from Bart and Barry. Wally's always been a realist and realistically? His chances of getting home aren't very good. 

He sighs, dropping his hands down onto his lap. No use wasting the day feeling bad for himself. His chances are lower if he doesn't do anything. 

The moment Wally gets out of the room, he thinks it might've been better to stay in bed after all. 

Dick is sitting on the counter, legs wrapped around Other Wally, and they're kissing like they have all the time in the world. Other Wally has a hand sliding up Dick’s thigh and the other disappearing under Dick’s shirt. They're not leading to anything, it just looks like they need to be touching as much as possible. 

A beep startles them out of it and Dick leans over to pull a waffle out of the waffle iron, giggling as his Wally presses playful kisses to his neck. Dick looks around for more batter and his eyes land on where Wally is hiding out in the entryway to the kitchen. 

Wally feels his face go bright red and he feels as gross as he probably looks, but Dick just smiles at him and says, “Good morning.”

Other Wally groans and pulls away after one last kiss to Dick’s neck. “Take a waffle or twelve,” he says to Wally, ladling another heap of batter into the waffle iron. “We start training today.”

“Training for what?” Wally asks, avoiding eye contact as he takes a seat at the counter and piles waffles onto his plate. 

“You wanna get home?" Other Wally asks, leaning over to rest his elbows on the counter. "You’re gonna have to speed up because there's no chance you're gonna be fast enough to get there on your own right now.”

Wally shoves a waffle in his mouth in the hopes that he won’t snap back at his alternate self. Instead, it just makes him sound like a slob when he asks, “Oh yeah, and you're gonna teach me?” around a half chewed mouthful of waffle. 

“Yeah, no one knows what you're capable of more than me,” Other Wally grins. 

Wally doesn't think he's ever hated anyone more. 

\---

They take him to a still intact Mount Justice first, because keeping a time traveling speedster a secret is just asking for trouble, but Wally kind of wishes that they’d at least warned everyone else before they got there, because saying that the team freaks out is a bit of an understatement. 

“What do you mean _from another dimension_?” Gar asks, thrilled. Wally tries to avoid making eye contact in fear that it'll give him encouragement he doesn't need. 

Tim and Kaldur have already pulled Dick aside to work logistics - how long ago did this happen, where is he going to stay, how long is he going to stay - and Wally has never been more grateful that leadership didn't end up being something he was good at, because now he can just avoid moments like this. 

Other Wally has taken over talking to everyone else, most of them yelling over each other about how cool this is, so nothing is fighting for Wally’s attention when Artemis shows up. 

“Artemis! Thank god,” Wally says, swooping her up in a hug. He knows it's not his Artemis, it's just - he usually sees her every day and it's only been two, but it feels like forever.

A second too late, he thinks that maybe this is weird. The Wally and Artemis from this dimension probably don't hug, might still dislike each other if they never got over their dumb sexual tension and awkward teen way of flirting. 

Artemis just laughs and hugs him back, exactly like she would at home and he’s so relieved he just clings to her harder. 

“What's with the distress signal, Baywatch?” she asks, patting him on the head. Wally knew he has been low-key freaking out for the past couple of days, but it's only now that he lets himself really feel it. He buries his head in her shoulder, and it's getting uncomfortable now. Even his Artemis would be getting concerned, but he can't make himself pull away. “Whoah, is everyth- why are there two of you?”

He pulls away, knowing he's already held on about thirty seconds too long. 

“He's from another dimension! How sweet is that?” Gar says. Yells. His inside voice is an affront to all humanity. 

“Oh,” Artemis says. Her eyes are wide, but still warm where they land on Wally. “I should've been here on time.”

It takes twice as long as it should to get Artemis caught up because Gar and Bart keep talking over each other. Wally starts to drift again, wondering how everything can be so similar but so different. 

He wants to be home. He wants to finish his calculus final and clean the dishes that Artemis had been yelling at him to do. His chest aches for a moment. She's probably already cleaned the dishes. She probably thinks he's dead. 

“So,” Artemis says, flopping down on the bench next to him. “That explains the warm reception.” She raises her eyebrows and Wally wants to shy away from that look. He stares at his hands, memorizing every crease and scar; he thinks about how they’re the only things that are actually real anymore. He flinches when she reaches over to grab his hand and he looks at her, shocked. 

“Hey, I know it must be crazy here. It's not the same, but if you ever want to just hang out and feel like things are normal, let me know, alright?” 

Wally laughs, but it comes out weak. “You're being nice to me. That's not normal,” he jokes. 

She scoffs, swatting him on the arm. “Well, I'll be there to harass you too. I'm a woman of many talents.”

His smile feels more genuine and Artemis grins at him back. 

“Alright, quit moping!” She says, pulling him up with a swift yank of her arm. “Time to figure out what to do with you.”

\---

What they end up doing with him, is nothing. 

They decide he should stay at Dick and Other Wally’s so that he can at least get around by himself when they're not there and so that it's easier to coordinate his training schedule. The one thing they all agree on is that Wally needs to go home as soon as possible. 

Wally just really wishes that he didn't have to learn from himself. 

\---

So, maybe he was too quick to judge. Because having yourself as a teacher? Is fucking rad. 

Wally was so ready to hate every minute of training with what he now grudgingly admits is a superior version of himself, but it's easily the best training session of his life. 

“So, our left ankle tends to bend inward whenever we reach more than 150mph - unclear why yet, I’m guessing we had a rock in our shoe or something when we recreated Barry’s experiment - and the best way to correct it without messing with, you know, posture and fucking up the rest of our body, is to get a boot with about .80cm higher of an arch. That's the best measurement I’ve gotten so far, but hey, go for it if you wanna adjust. Speeds us up by at least 74 percent,” he explains, rustling through his closet to find an extra uniform.

And when Wally tries on a pair of altered boots, _he's fucking right_. 

He's not even embarrassed by how excited he gets, taking laps around the beach in record time and he can go home; he's as fast as Barry now, he has to be. 

“Alright,” Wally says, stopping on a dime in front of his alternate self. And there are… no skid marks. He's never done that at a speed that high. Wally knows he's gaping stupidly at his feet, but - wow. He knew he gave up the hero business because he felt inadequate as a speedster, but he never realized how _bad_ he was until now. There's a weird mix of shame and pride twisting in him and if he's made this much progress in five minutes who's to say what'll happen in a week? 

He’ll be home in no time. 

\---

Wally is really sick of being wrong. 

Six months. 

He's been here _six goddamn months_ and he doesn't feel any closer to getting home than he did before. 

His days follow routine to the point that it feels endlessly monotonous; eat, train, sleep. 

It's during one of those moments where all three blend together, Wally half in uniform at the end of the day, falling asleep into his cereal, that Dick slides onto the stool next to him. Wally jolts at the noise and his spoon slaps him in the nose before dropping into the bowl with a clang. 

Dick laughs at him and Wally can feel milk dripping down his face, but can't even muster up the energy to care. His stare is dead eyed, he can feel it in the strain of his eyelids and he must look pathetic because Dick just pats him on the shoulder and reaches for a napkin to dab the milk off Wally’s face for him. 

He's bizarrely gentle. Not that Wally expected him to be rough or anything, but Dick touches him so softly that the napkin doesn't even chafe where it drags against his skin. 

He's zoning out again, almost lulled back to sleep by the repetitive motions of Dick’s hands, so it makes him jerk when Dick starts talking. 

“You really should take it easy.” Dick pulls his hand away. “You’re not helping yourself by running yourself ragged. And,” he adds when Wally opens his mouth to argue, “you can't give training all of your attention when you can't even get your uniform on right.” He tugs at where the spandex is twisted at Wally’s waist and abruptly Wally feels extra shirtless. 

“It was on before,” Wally says stupidly. 

Dick laughs at him again like it's normal to still be so quick to laugh and slides off the stool to go over to the cupboard. “Pasta with bolognese sound good? You have to eat more than cereal, Walls.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” Wally’s glad Dick isn't looking at him right now because even though his face must've looked pretty stupid before, it's got to have nothing on how it looks now as he watches Dick flutter around the kitchen like he's never been more comfortable. 

Wally inhales his pasta in about three seconds after Dick sets a plate of it in front of him and he doesn't even need to ask for seconds before his plate is refilled. 

Without noticing it, their dinners become part of Wally’s weekly routine. Wally never really crashes out until Friday through sheer willpower, but without fail, Dick is there to make him enough carbs to feed a small army and update him on the League news of the week. 

Their Friday nights end the same way at the same time. Other Wally comes back from his night class at 9pm, sometimes with chocolate or a sharp metal weapon as a gift, and Dick meets him at the door with a kiss that would make any man’s knees weak. 

Wally appreciates Dick’s concern when he tries to convince him to take it easy, he really does, but every time Wally sees the door to _his_ room close behind Dick, and Wally is left sitting by himself, he's even more determined to get home. 

He's sick of going to bed alone. 

\---

“Hey, I need you to do me a favor.”

Wally can't feel any of his limbs, so he's not really sure if he can physically do anything at this point, but he’ll hear his alternate self out. 

“Uh huh,” he groans into the grass, not even mustering up enough energy to make it a question. He hears Other Wally flop into the grass next to Wally's prone body. Wally finds strength to twist his head to look at him. 

They’d run from California, followed the U.S.-Mexican border and followed the Mississippi up to Minnesota where they'd taken an abrupt left. It felt like heaven, running on such endless flat land, but then they'd hit the left half of South Dakota and Wally had slowly realized that running up and down endless mountains was a new type of hell he'd never experienced before. 

Of course his other self is barely winded. 

Other Wally wrings his palms together and his gaze is a million miles away, looking over the Black Hills. “I need you to stay somewhere else tonight. With Bart or Barry or even M’gaan, I don't care.”

It's not like it's even a weird request; Wally had been kicked out for date night before and it was never a big deal, but something about how Other Wally looks like he's redefining the word stressed makes him nervous. “Yeah man, what's up?”

Other Wally sucks in a deep breath, holds it. He falls back onto the grass and says, “I’m gonna ask Dick to marry me.”

Wally thought his body hurt, but it has nothing on his heart right now. But he recognizes the look in Other Wally’s eyes and he's just a footnote in this universe, so he says, “Of course, no problem. And stop looking so worried. He's crazy about you.” Wally manages to get enough energy to lift his arm and playfully shoves his other self’s shoulder. 

Other Wally laughs and covers his face with his hands. “God, I just love him so much.” He drops his hands to his chest and grins at the sky. “He's everything to me, you know? Making it official is just - I’ve been looking forward to it since I was sixteen.”

Sixteen. 

The thought of it is baffling. Wally hasn't ever had that feeling with anyone and the longer he stays here, the more he thinks he never will. 

“Yeah.” Wally’s grin feels fake, but the only person with him isn't looking at him anyway. “Sounds perfect.”

\---

“Sup, Baywatch?” Artemis calls from where she's sharpening her arrows on the floor. 

The noise Wally makes as he faceplants into her couch’s cushions could maybe be considered an answer if he wasn't dealing with the most no-nonsense person he knows. 

“What's with the drama queen act? You either have to tell me or I’m kicking you out to stay with Tim and Kon tonight. Tim is not quiet,” she adds, waggling her eyebrows, which - gross. Tim is a _child_. Or, you know, sixteen. Whatever, it’s still gross.

“Jesus, _fine_ ,” he whines and rolls off the couch onto her. She shrieks, but he doesn't get stabbed so it works out in his favor. 

“Oh my god, how are we ever together in your universe?” she huffs out, digging her knuckles into the tender spot below his ribs until he plops off of her. 

The fabric of the rug is scratchy on his face and when he looks at Artemis’ laughing face he feels fondness and sadness all mixed in one. He thinks about how Dick is getting engaged tonight. 

“I don't know,” he admits. Artemis’ smile drops and Wally can tell she's still beautiful, it's not like he's not attracted to her, but she doesn't make his heart ache when he's away from her and she's not who he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning. She understands him in ways that no one else can and she's undoubtedly one of the most important people in his life. He still loves her, but he's starting to realize that it's not enough sometimes. 

“Hey, I was just kidding. I’m different than your Artemis, I get that.”

The problem is, she's exactly the same. 

\---

It takes another three months, but he makes it. 

Or, he would have, if he hadn't fucked up. 

He honestly hadn't meant to, he’d just been training and they'd been messing around, trying to outrun each other and then suddenly Wally couldn't see clear lines and the world became a rainbow tunnel of cat puke colors. 

He repeats _Artemis Artemis Artemis_ in his head, and it’s the most desperate thought he’s had about her in weeks. He can almost see the way her hair falls over her shoulders, the way she combs out the tangles with her fingers when she first takes her ponytail out, but he's hit with a brief moment of sadness when he realizes that he never said goodbye to anyone here. He shakes his head until the world starts to clear again. 

He can see the sun glinting off of the ocean, bright and blinding as everything snaps into focus. Wally lets out a whoop and isn't even embarrassed about how he feels like a sorority girl, because he's _home_. He sees his front door and doesn't even slow down, vibrating through it because _he can do that now_. He's going to brag to everyone, show them that he's incredible now, the best speedster they've ever seen. Hell, he’s going to race Bart and win. 

He stops, skids a little which he feels a little shitty about because he thought he was past that and looks around to see-

Dick. 

His stomach feels like lead and the elated laughter that had threatened to bubble out of his throat fades away. He has to swallow a few times to get the bitter taste out of his mouth. 

“Hey, where's my Wally?” Dick asks, curled up on the couch, focused on his computer. “Pretty sure he didn't actually remember to get more eggs.”

It's domestic and sweet and Wally wants to tear his fucking hair out because he was so close. And he fucked it up because he can't get his head on straight. He _doesn't belong_ ; Dick knows he doesn't belong without even looking at him. 

And the problem is, a small part of him is happy to see Dick. The way he's snuggled up under a blanket, tapping an unknown rhythm against his leg. He just - he looks like home, a little bit, and with that thought Wally knows the reason why he keeps ending up here, in a universe where Dick fits seamlessly into every part of Wally’s life. Except it's not _real_ and- 

“Wally?” 

Wally blinks back tears and hopes Dick can't see because even though this day doesn't feel like it can get much worse, he knows it can, and crying in the middle of his living room is definitely not how he wants to end the day. 

The door opens and Wally’s head jerks up to see Other Wally as he walks in with a grin on his face. 

“Babe, he made it-”

The grin slides off Other Wally’s face when they lock eyes and Wally wants to melt into the carpet. It's soft enough; he'd live a comfortable life. It's better than standing here, watching his other self look between Dick and Wally until his eyes widen like he _gets it_. And when he looks at Wally with something way too close to pity in his eyes, Wally has to leave. 

He doesn't slam the door to his room, because there's only so much angst he can act out in a day now that he's not a teen anymore, but he kind of wishes he could. 

\---

Wally dreams of blue a lot.

Sometimes he's running across the ocean, but it just never ends and all he can see is the sky merge into the sea. Other times he's in a field of flowers, forget-me-nots and tulips stretching for miles until they burst out blue pollen like that one scene from the Wizard of Oz. Most times he's just staring at the stark shape of a bird outlined in black kevlar. 

He gets it. 

He can explain most scientific advances from the 21st century in more detail than he can explain his own emotions half the time, but-

He gets it, is all. 

\---

The door is open. 

The fucking _door_ is _open_. 

Wally’s not overreacting, he's not. Because his reaction of debilitating panic and despair? Is completely justified, because the door is open and Dick and Wally ( _Other Wally_ , keep it straight West) are fucking and Wally just needed breakfast before lifting with Supey, okay? He wants a banana and about eight protein bars, but he’s frozen in front of the fridge, cool air giving him goosebumps, because the door is open. 

God, he can see them. 

Or, not them, really. Mostly Dick (and dick, his brain adds hysterically, because he's probably broken everything. Just all parts that make up Wally West) because he’s riding Other Wally’s cock slowly, eyes glazed where he's looking down at him, chest flushed, lips bitten to a ruby red, cock leaking and - 

The fridge beeps ( _who’s fridge fucking beeps what the hell fuck everyone GE is dead to him_ ) and Dick’s eyes snap to Wally’s right when he shuts the fridge door. 

Wally can't breathe. 

Dick doesn't stop. He licks his lips and Wally should leave, really, he's going to any second, just - Dick's mouth drops open and even from afar, Wally can tell he does something devastating with his hips and Other Wally comes so hard that the tourists on the beach can probably hear him. 

When Dick breaks Wally's gaze to lean down and kiss his actual boyfriend, Wally runs away. 

\---

He pretends to not notice when Kon has hit his daily limit of dealing with speedsters because if he has to go back to his apartment _ever_ it'll be too soon. 

Wally can't actually surgically attach himself to Kon’s side though, because then he'd probably be a voyeur to even more sex and once is enough, thanks. It's the only thing that stops him from asking to crash on Tim and Kon’s sofa; not believing Artemis about their sex life would be too grave of a mistake to deal with for the rest of his life. 

That doesn't stop him from taking the long way home. 

It's near midnight when he finally makes it back, and it's his growling stomach that actually forces him to turn down his street. 

The lights are off when he unlocks the door and he has a brief moment of relief, but Other Wally is sitting at the kitchen counter, tearing his way through the lasagna M’gaan left last time she visited. 

They stare at each other for a minute and then they both turn bright red and cough into their fists awkwardly. 

Wally winces, because he does not need more reminders of how similar they are right now. He looks at Other Wally and, shocker, he's looking back uncomfortably. 

“Look,” Other Wally blurts out, half a second before Wally was going to. “Sorry about this morning.” Wally is probably still breathing. Maybe. “Dick told me what happened. I didn’t know the door was open. I'll pay more attention next time.” He straightens up, looking Wally in the eye confidently now that he's said his peace. “We good?”

“Yeah,” Wally lies. “We’re good.”

He jerks off that night wondering what it'd be like to see what Dick looked like from another angle. 

\---

“Tell me about your universe,” Dick says, falling back on the couch and flinging his legs over Wally’s lap. 

Wally sighs, shoving at Dick’s feet because he was in the middle of a garbage reality tv marathon and his slouch game was so strong he'd been essentially horizontal. He can't remember the name of the show though and when he looks around, he realizes that it's dark outside, the only light coming from the lamp on the other end of the sofa; so, honestly, it's probably time to stop and at least attempt human interaction. 

Dick is a stubborn little shit in every universe, so he just kicks at Wally’s arms until he admits defeat and hugs Dick’s legs into submission. “God, you're so annoying,” Wally grumps, but it comes out stupidly fond. 

Dick just smirks at him, because he knows he's getting his way anyway. He gives his legs another half-hearted wiggle that has Wally tightening his grip. “Come on, tell me. Is the Joker actually a good guy? Does he make cupcakes for bake sales on Wednesdays?”

“Oh my god, shut up.” He squeezes Dick’s feet until he starts to squirm, giggling into his arm. “Everything is pretty much the same except you.”

The moment he says it, he’s shocked at how true it is. There are minor differences; because Other Wally is faster, sure, and Conner goes by Kon, but they still feel like they have the same personality. It's just Dick that feels wrong, like somehow he's not jaded by life yet, or he’s just found something that actually makes him happy. Then he feels like an asshole for finding it wrong that Dick is happy. 

“What am I like?” Dick asks, oblivious. Or - not oblivious, because he’s still one of the shrewdest people Wally has ever met, but just trusting. Like he knows Wally will tell him something if it's important and that he doesn't need to hoard secrets like armor. 

“You're…” 

He doesn't know how to finish. There have been too many emotional revelations lately and he can barely verbalize what Dick means to him when he has to figure it out himself, much less when he's trying to explain it to another version of Dick. “You're lonely,” he ends up saying. It sounds bad, but it still sounds better than _you're sad all the time_. 

“I’m not with anyone?” Dick asks and the way he says it, he clearly means dating which would be funny if it wasn't so sad. 

“Uh,” Wally coughs, twisting his fingers in the hem of Dick’s sweatpants. “You're with a lot of people. Not like - not at once! Well, maybe sometimes, but just - you get around.”

“Oh,” Dick says and the tone of his voice prompts Wally to look at him. 

“Sorry, I don't mean to, like, trash you or whatever. It's just how it is.” The words feel bitter on his tongue, but they're not lies. 

“That's not it,” Dick says, his voice quiet in the muted light of the room. He reaches a hand down to where Wally’s hands have traveled up to Dick’s knee without him noticing. He links their fingers together and Wally can't breathe. 

He should maybe say something. He would, maybe, if he was a stronger man. But he's just Wally West and he's good at a lot of things, but clearly not this. 

“I can't imagine that there's a universe where I don't love you,” Dick says, and Wally can't look away. Dick’s shadowed by the light from the lamp, biceps pulling tight against his shirt, eyes hooded but so _blue_. Wally feels like his heart is being pulled out of his chest. 

“There isn't one where I don't love you,” Wally confesses. 

Dick doesn't jump into his arms. Wally doesn't know what he was expecting, but he can admit that he dreamed of a reality where Dick returned his feelings ( _his_ feelings, not the feelings of the luckiest Wally West in any universe) and the little flicker of hope dies in his chest at the look of sympathy on Dick’s face. 

Dick doesn't pull away, which is a small victory but almost hurts more because obviously every touch so far wasn’t a big deal to him. Wally's such a dumbass. 

“We’ll get you back to him, alright?”

The words are a mirror of what Dick said to him the first day Wally got here, but they settle harder in Wally’s chest. Any words that would make up a dignified response get stuck in his throat, so Wally just looks at the shadows between where their hands are clasped. 

“He’ll want you too, I promise,” Dick says. 

Wally squeezes his eyes shut. He hadn't known that was what he was worried about, but he is. Dick in his universe hasn't held down a committed relationship, well, ever. And for all the posturing Wally did as a teenager, he’s a relationship guy. A _serious_ relationship guy. He doesn't have anything to offer to a guy that can have anyone in the world if he sets his mind to it. It's easier to stay here, be in a world where Wally might not get what he wants, but he can see how he could one day. The hope is all he has left sometimes. 

\---

“Gorgeous wedding, right?” Barbara asks, taking her spot next to Wally. “I helped with the color scheme, obviously. Those idiots wanted to mix black and red like it was some kind of rock concert instead of a wedding. It’s like they couldn’t spend one day out of their uniforms for fuck’s sake. Anyway, we compromised and the cerulean and daffodil worked much better together. Oh, your tie is crooked, one second,” she adds before Wally can object to her calling any part of the Kid Flash uniform _daffodil_. 

She gets bored with him right away, turning around in her seat to talk to Steph and Cassie behind them once his tie is straightened to her satisfaction. 

The wedding is straddling the line between obnoxious and heartfelt. There’s a certain level of acting they all need to do, since the wedding of Dick Grayson, son of playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, has been on the front page of all of Gotham’s newspapers for months. 

There are disgusting amounts of people here. Wally doesn’t know who made the final guest list, but he’s fairly certain that Dick and Other Wally had only invited about 10% of the attendees and the other 90% were the required roster of Gotham socialites. Wally had been concerned about having most of Earth’s superheroes in one place (albeit in their civilian personas), but after seeing the vast number of high profile personalities here, no one is really going to care about why college student Jaime Reyes and other miscellaneous nobodies were invited to the wedding of the year.

He’d been a little more skeptical when Dick had told him that no one would question Wally’s presence as Other Wally’s twin brother, but it seems to be working out so far. 

Neither of them walk up any aisle, so when the music starts, Other Wally and Dick are already smiling at each other at the altar and it’s only to signal everyone else to stop talking.

Alfred clears his throat, smiles softly at Dick and starts, “We are gathered here today…”

Wally zones out, just a little bit. Mostly because he gets stuck wondering when Alfred got a minister’s license, but then also because he wonders why he thought Dick would trust anyone other than Alfred to marry him. 

Dick looks good. Really, really good. 

So does Other Wally, in an objective way, but Wally also probably thinks that because they’re in coordinating suits - “They can’t _match_ that’ll look so boring in photos. Coordinating is much classier, really,” Barbara had said - and coordinating with Dick automatically makes someone look better. 

They’re also so happy they’re practically bursting with it. Even Barbara has whipped out the tissues and Wally’s seen her knock twelve men out in less than a minute with no remorse or hesitation. Blindfolded.

They recite the normal vows, but Wally knows they wrote their own, honest ones they’ll tell each other in secret so that no one can write about them and publish them in the newspaper the next day.

Dick had gone over his with Wally last night, knocking before coming into his bedroom after he’d kissed Other Wally goodnight. He’d had to spend the night at Barry’s since Mrs. West had been adamant that they couldn't see each other the day of the wedding until it was time to get married. 

Wally remembers how soft Dick had looked, in a faded Kid Flash t-shirt and worn boxers. But mostly, he remembers how nervous and sincere Dick had sounded when he’d asked, “Do you think he’ll like them? I mean, are they good enough?”

Wally can say he’d been completely certain when he’d said that they were perfect.

There are camera flashes when they kiss, but they still pull back grinning at each other and Wally bets if there weren’t more people watching, they’d go back for another.

\---

Even though the wedding was over-the-top, the reception is exactly what Dick and Other Wally actually wanted.

They’d somehow gotten out of having a televised reception (some sort of excuse of donating the funds they would’ve used on a reception to fund a non-profit for the next few years) and instead, everyone they care about is in the backyard of Wayne Manor to finish out the night.

Bart and Jaime fight over the music, and it could get annoying if it was anyone else, but it just makes everyone laugh when a song starts up right in the middle of the last one.

Dick and Other Wally haven’t left each others arms all night and Wally’s been stuck between averting his eyes when they kiss and not being able to keep his eyes off of them and feeling like a huge creep about it.

“It must be strange, isn’t it?” Kaldur asks, sliding into the seat next to him. It's disorienting seeing him in a suit, but at least he's lost his weird collared jacket and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows so his tattoos are visible. “Seeing yourself getting married?” Kaldur adds, smiling, like this is supposed to be some kind of inside joke and if it were anyone else, Wally would be pissed, but it’s Kaldur and he does everything in the name of friendship. 

The smile he gives Kaldur must be strained, because Kaldur reaches out to rest a hand on Wally’s shoulder. “You must miss her. If there is any way I can help, please let me know.”

Wally kind of wants to cry a little bit, because Kaldur is too good to him and also so incredibly wrong. “Thanks, man. I just gotta keep practicing. But hey, tonight’s not about me, right? Enjoy the party. I think Rocket’s looking for another dance.”

Kaldur laughs and Wally chances another look at Dick while Kaldur’s head is tossed back. He's radiant, and he hasn't looked in Wally’s direction all night. 

“If I go, you must come with. No one should look so sad on such a happy day.”

Kaldur is a good friend. Hell, everyone is a good friend except for Wally himself lately. If he wants to be with who he’s realizing he's meant to be with, then he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and work for it. And, he's slowly realizing, he needs to stop projecting his emotions on a replica of who he wants. 

He looks away from the newlyweds, grins at Kaldur and says, “Yeah, let's go.”

\---

The day Wally gets set to go home, the whole team gets together to see him off. Bart tears up a little and tries to hide it in Jaime’s shirt, but Jaime protests so loudly about it that it turns into this best friend squabbling match that makes it impossible for Bart to be subtle. Usually it makes everyone laugh, but they're subdued today, only able to crack weak little smiles. 

They all know he won't be coming back this time. 

It's a weird mix of feeling supremely powerful and completely out of control at the same time. He has no choice really, staying any longer wouldn't just mess up the balance between space and time, it'd also hurt everyone at home, being left without him for longer than they have to. 

“Hey, it's not like you won't have an awesome Wally West still,” Wally says, reeling Bart in by the shoulders to give him side hug. Bart wiggles around to give him a real hug, solid and firm around Wally’s torso, which seems to prompt everyone else into piling on for a group hug that shouldn't make sense because half of them aren't even touching him. It makes him grin anyway, chest warm at the reminder of how much they care about him. 

“Come on, let him go, you're gonna make me feel like the reject Wally,” Other Wally says. He doesn't mean it, that much is clear when he swoops Wally in for a solo hug once everyone else detaches. “I'm gonna miss you,” he whispers and Wally can only nod as his throat mysteriously closes up. 

When he lets Wally go, Dick takes his place. A few months ago, the idea of leaving him would've broken Wally, but now he only feels a little tinge of fondness and sadness, the way he feels about Bart and Artemis and the entire incredible dimension he was lucky enough to land himself in. 

He pulls Dick in for a hug and Dick giggles in his arms. “Go get your man,” he whispers, pecking a light kiss on Wally’s cheek before detangling to go join his husband. 

The rest of the goodbyes go by in a blur; Supey squeezes him so hard his fingers go numb, Artemis ruffles his hair before she pulls away and just laughs at Wally’s outraged face, and Tim stands unmoving in front of Wally for long enough that he starts preparing himself to make excuses to get them both out of the awkward situation until Tim launches himself at Wally in the quickest and most gentle hug he’s ever received. 

Suddenly, it’s time to run. He can't put it off any longer without risking becoming so attached to this universe that he won't be able to leave. He's already so close to doing it that he forgoes the speech he had all planned out in his head. Instead, he looks at his pseudo-family, memorizes their quirks and differences and vows to never forget a moment with them. 

“I love you, guys,” he says, and bolts off before he can see anyone’s reaction. 

It's instantaneous. One moment he's looking at the red of M’gaan’s hair and the next he's surrounded by the embodiment of an LSD trip. 

Wally breathes. 

In, out. In, out. 

He knows what to do this time. He feels a minor tug in his heart back to the universe he came from, but that's just nostalgia, a little fear of what he’ll be met with when he goes home. Home. It's what the rest of his body is reaching for, searching out his own apartment, his own bed. His own Dick Grayson. The one less likely to laugh, the one who overworks himself to the bone, who probably hasn't had a good night’s sleep in weeks if Wally had to bet on it. _That's_ his best friend and he’ll be damned if he doesn't get back to him. 

The speedforce must pick up on his conviction, because the world starts to sharpen, light fading away in streaks and Wayne Manor starts to form right before his eyes. 

His laughter surprises him when it bursts out, but it doesn't matter because he made it for sure this time. No way in hell would he be brought to Wayne Manor in the other dimension. He'll be home as soon as he finds Dick and it's that thought that coaxes him to push out another burst of speed, past the meta-sensors in the courtyard, and through the front door. 

He hears voices from the dining room, a gaggle of teen males and an exasperated Bruce, so it's not a millionaire dinner party he should be careful not to crash. He pulls a sharp left without giving himself time to overthink it. 

Wally’s feet skid when he pulls to a stop and the feeling is so foreign that he falters a bit, arm shooting out to lean against the entryway to brace himself. 

Skid marks aside, he's still faster than everyone else in the room, so when he looks at Dick, he's quick enough to see the moment that Dick recognizes him, eyes widening, bottom lip dropping away from his top lip almost imperceptibly. He's subtle and guarded, but it's easier to pick up on his cues than Wally thought it would've been after two years. 

His grin makes his cheeks sore, but it's worth it when Dick throws himself out of his chair and into Wally’s arms like he's meant to be there. 

“God, you're so…” Dick starts, but can't seem to finish. He clings tighter than Wally had expected, but Wally hadn't exactly kept his hopes up about their reunion. 

It's better than anything he could have imagined anyway. 

Dick is warm and strong in Wally’s grip. His eyelashes tickle Wally’s neck from where Dick has buried his face and his nose is bizarrely cold. 

_I can't imagine that there’s a universe where I don't love you._

It sounded like wishful thinking at the time, impossibly romantic and naive, but Wally finally starts to let himself believe it’s true.

**Author's Note:**

> Onwards! To the sequel!


End file.
